


Pandora's Box

by dragonflybeach



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9304394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonflybeach/pseuds/dragonflybeach
Summary: It only took one simple text to open Pandora's Box."There's a series of books called Supernatural."





	

Christmas had seemed like a great idea to connect.

Mary had been so excited about spending Christmas with Sam for the first time, and with Dean for the first time since he was a child.

Instead, it had been an akward disaster. None of them knew what to say or do around one another, and not even Castiel's unintentionally hilarious story of the actual first Christmas could really save the situation.

Sam gave her a pocket music player that was loaded with all the songs she loved. Dean gave her a photo album full of pictures ranging all the way from the early days of her relationship with John to some of her boys that had been taken in the past year. It made the warm clothes and new journals she gave them seem so impersonal, but she just didn't know them well enough to get something they would really like.

Mary tried to talk to her sons about their childhood, about things they liked and things they had done, but neither of them wanted to tell her much.

She spent three uncomfortable days with them and was somewhat relieved when they had to leave the day after Christmas to follow up on a lead about Lucifer.

She drifted for two days, driving aimlessly and stopping at motels that didn't seem any more interesting than the last.

She got a quick text from Dean telling her that the lead had turned out to be a bust.

Cas texted her later that evening to ask how she was doing.

 _About as well as I can, coming back from the dead after thirty three years, not knowing anyone, even the people I did know,_ she replied.

 _It probably won't help to know this, but your sons are struggling too._ Cas told her. _They want their mother, but they don't know how to have a relationship with you._

 _They won't talk to me_. She texted back. _If they trusted me enough to tell me about the parts of their lives that I've missed, I could understand them more._

 _It is not a matter of not trusting you. They do not wish to hurt you, but there are also painful incidents in the past that they have trouble talking about to anyone._ Cas answered.

 _Those are the things that I need to know._ she said.

Castiel didn't answer her.

When her phone dinged again almost an hour later, she really expected it to be Dean asking to play a game, but it was another message from Castiel.

 _There's this series of books,_ the text read, _called Supernatural, written by Carver Edlund. You may want to read them._

 _What are they?_ she messaged back.

 _One day they will be known as the Winchester Gospels. The books tell of some of Dean and Sam's lives just after Stanford._ he replied. _There is much more that isn't in the books._

He sent another message. _But hopefully they will help you understand your sons, knowing things that Dean and Sam can't bring themselves to tell you._

 _Thank you. I will look for them._ she answered.

She found them all available as digital downloads on Amazon, included for free in a Kindle Unlimited subscription. She downloaded them onto the Kindle she picked up at a pawn shop. There was also a "review" from someone whose user name was beckywinchester176 who mentioned having additional unpublished Supernatural books on her website. Mary saved the link for future reference.

Sam had given her a credit card and told her that it had nearly an unlimited credit line. She had been using it to pay for food and motels since leaving the boys, but somehow, it just felt wrong to pry into their lives while staying in a room they were paying for.

She drove to Lawrence, actually to the outskirts, and stayed at her dad's old fishing cabin. Someone had been there in the last few years. There was dust, but certainly not 30 years' worth, and some canned goods that had just expired within the past year were in the pantry. Most of her dad's books and research materials were gone, so she presumed that at least one of her cousins who had been hunters had used the cabin after she was gone.

She wondered if Castiel had played a horrible joke on her when the first book began with a recounting of her death.

 _Who wrote these books?_ She texted him.

 _We thought it was a scribe of God._ He answered. _It turns out that it was actually God. As Dean would say, long story._

She had hoped the books would detail more of her sons' childhoods, but after the prologue in which Dean carried Sammy out of the house while John tried to save her, it moved right along to Sam's senior year at Stanford.

She started making notes of things to ask Castiel or the boys about later.

She cried over Jess' death, knowing that ultimately, it was her own fault, for making the deal with the demon.

She made note to ask Dean if Sam had really bought Jess a ring.

Castiel was right. Reading the books gave her more insight into her boys' lives than she could have imagined.

After reading _Faith_ , she decided it was a good thing John was dead so that she didn't have to kill him herself. She made a note to ask Dean why he hadn't answered when she said John was a good father.

She pored through the books voraciously, doing practically nothing but reading, sleeping, and eating when she had to. She averaged three to three and a half books per day, except the day she spent three hours crying after reading about John's death.

She almost forgave him.

Almost.

It took a week and a day to finish the original 24 published volumes.

She finished in the morning spent the rest of the day trying to wrap her head around what she had read. Dean almost dying and saved by Sam finding a faith healer who wasn't a faith healer at all. Azazel's plan to open the Devil's Gate and Lucifer's cage using children poisoned with demon blood. Sam's death at Cold Oak. Dean's demon deal to save him. Sam working with a demon to try to save Dean. The books ending with Dean in Hell.

Obviously, Dean had gotten back. Whether it was Sam, or the angels, or God, she would just have to read on to see.

She went to the website mentioned on the Amazon review, _morethanbrothers.net_ , and was surprised to find that the title apparently didn't refer to her sons' seeming telepathic connection.

Pointedly ignoring the poorly drawn porn starring romance novel cover versions of her sons and skipping past lists of stories with salacious titles, she found a link to " **Carver Edlund's Lost Works**."

The site required a user name and password to view the books, so she became merrywench75, which was close enough to her name to make her feel comfortable, but hopefully not obvious to most people.

Once she gained access to the web page, she found another 24 books.

There was an intro from the webmistress _(It's still me, Becky! I just changed my user name from Samlicker81 to beckywinchester176. And, BTW, thank you soooooo much to everyone who voted for Burning Desires in 2idjits1angel's monthly fanfic awards!_ ) saying that she had, at one time, been in a relationship with Carver Edlund. The author had written the second set of 24 books after the original publisher went bankrupt. He had lost interest in having them published by another company but had graciously allowed her to publish them on her site.

Mary was a bit skeptical, wondering why an author with an apparent cult following would allow his ex-girlfriend to share his work for free, but she clicked into _Lazarus Rising_.

Ten pages into the first chapter, she was sure it was the same author. The style, the tone, and the vocabulary were all the same.

And the pieces of the puzzle fit too perfectly not to be true.

Dean had been pulled from Hell by Castiel, who was revealed as an angel. Sam had joined forces with the demon Ruby, who was training him to use his telepathic abilities.

That was one question that wouldn't wait until she finished the books. She texted Castiel.

_Why did Sam have all these telepathic abilities when Dean came back from Hell, but he apparently doesn't have them now?_

_Ruby was feeding him demon blood. It amplified the natural psychokinetic abilities Sam has_. Cas answered.

 _That's not in the books._ She texted back.

His reply rattled her.

_If you were writing a series of books about the saviors of the world, would you tell people one of them drank demon blood?_

The boys had butted heads with each other, but in the end, they worked together to defeat the angels and demons. Mary cried so hard she could barely see the page as Dean drove away from Stull Cemetary, Sam's plea to find a woman and settle down ringing in his ears.

Before she had even had time to wonder how Sam had gotten back from Hell, she heard a ding and a box popped up in the lower corner of her laptop.

 **Message from beckywinchester176:** Hello?

Mary stared at the box, startled.

The computer dinged again, and a second line popped up in the box.

 **beckywinchester176:** are you there?

Suddenly it all clicked together in Mary's mind -the name Becky,  the _morethanbrothers_ website. and the _Burning Desires_ story. She knew this was the same Becky from Carver Edlund's books, and she knew this person knew something more about her sons.

 **merrywench75:** Yes, I'm here.

There was a pause, and then a flurry of writing on the screen.

 **beckywinchester176:** look i know this sounds crazy ok? but there is another book. Chuck (that's Carver Edlund's real name) made me promise to keep it a secret because the stuff that happened in these books is REAL. It's all real. And because Ben is a real person someone could use the info in this last book to find him and do him and his mom harm.

 **beckywinchester176:** Chuck made me swear I would never tell a soul about the last book, but if someone ever came along with this user name, I should give you a copy of the book. Because youre another hunter and you will help protect Ben.

Mary was a bit confused, so she asked the obvious question.

 **merrywench75:** Who is Ben?

 **beckywinchester176:** Dean's son

Mary honestly felt as if she had been kicked in the chest. She couldn't breathe for a moment.

Fortunately, her chat partner didn't seem to notice.

 **beckywinchester176:** ive seen you logged in pretty much 24/7 for the past week, reading these stories. i wasn't going to send the last one to you but i swear to God i dreamed about Chuck last night and he told me i had to give this book to you.

Mary took a deep breath and typed.

 **merrywench75:** Yes, I really need to read that one.

 **beckywinchester176:** ok i will send you a dropbox link to download it in a sec. i saw youve been reading the lost works but have you checked out any of the rest of the site?

Mary sighed and answered.

 **merrywench75:** Not yet.

 **beckywinchester176:** are you a Deangirl or a Samgirl? slashfan? i can give you some recs.

Mary wasn't sure what she was talking about, but had kind of an idea.

 **merrywench75:** I'm an old enough to be their mom girl, but I think I'd want someone to love me the way John loved Mary.

 **beckywinchester176:** awwww! youre giving me feels!!! while i directly believe the brothers' codependency and emotional repressment is a direct result of john winchester's A+ parenting, i get what youre saying about his pure devotion to his wife and his devastation after her death

 **merrywench75:** I think you understand exactly how I see things.

 **beckywinchester176:** can i ask you something

 **merrywench75:** Sure.

 **beckywinchester176:** do you actually know Sam and Dean.

 **merrywench75:** I've met them a few times.

 **beckywinchester176:** omg!!! me too! i am so glad to finally find someone who knows them and knows its all real. everyone else thinks im crazy when i try to tell them demons are real and i was married to Sam.

Mary felt kicked in the chest all over again.

 **merrywench75:** You were married to Sam?

 **beckywinchester176:** we got married in vegas 5 years ago but he belonged on the road with Dean, you know saving people hunting things the family business. we had it annulled

 **merrywench75:** How long were you married?

 **beckywinchester176:** the best six days of my life. the things that man can do with his tongue ... o   m   g

 **merrywench75:** Please don't tell me.

 **beckywinchester176:** sorry i can see how it could get uncomfortable hunting with them if youre imagining them naked

 **merrywench75:** You have no idea.

 **beckywinchester176:** ok i am sending you the download link now. please come back after you read it. i would love to talk more. im a Samgirl myself but im totally cool with you being bibro

 **merrywench75:** I'll probably have more questions.

 **beckywinchester176:** thats fine. i can talk about our boys all day and night

A link popped up in the chat box, and Mary clicked on it. While she was waiting for the file to download, she texted Castiel.

_Was Sam really married to an obsessed fan named Becky?_

_She drugged him with love potion. When the potion wore off he insisted on having the marriage annulled. She did help them catch a demon._ He replied.

She hesitated for several minutes before gathering her courage and sending the next text.

_Does Dean have a son named Ben?_

_Did Sam tell you?_

She blinked at his response, wondering why Sam would have been the one to tell her, rather than Dean.

 _No. Becky told me there was a book Chuck had told her to give to me but no one else, that it was about Dean's son._ She texted.

 _Read the book._ He told her. _If you have questions after, I will answer them as best I can_.

She made a pot of coffee, and started on the book.

Again, it was obviously the same writer's work. She was glad for his vivid imagery and details without being overly wordy, at the same time she ached for her sons in the first chapter.

Sam was 15 in August of 1998, full of teenage angst and anger at his father. John, by the same token, loved his son but didn't understand him, so all either of them had to do was breathe to set the other off.

Dean was stressed and defeated from trying to be the buffer between them.

Bobby had called, sending John and Sam to Florida on a simple hunt, and asking John to send Dean his way to help with another hunt.

Bobby secretly called Dean and told him to take his time. That when John asked, Bobby would say that by the time Dean got there Bobby had found the missing clue and resolved the case. He had given Dean a vacation from his dad and brother's constant fighting.

Dean stopped the first night at a bar in Indiana and met a cute brunette. He had lunch with her the next day before going to her apartment, where he spent the next four days.

The more graphic portions of that week were hard for a mom to read, but obviously Dean had been happy there, and probably would have stayed longer had it been up to him.

Unfortunately, John had called to tell him that Sam had gotten out of the truck at a rest stop on I-75 and started walking, and hell would freeze over before John turned the truck around to go get him.

Dean had to leave to go resolve the drama between his brother and father. He took Lisa's number and promised to keep in touch, but the paper was lost before he got to Florida.

Five weeks later, Lisa learned that despite the precautions they had taken, she was pregnant.

She asked the husband of one of her clients, a police officer, to help her track down Dean. He told her that Dean Winchester was wanted in five states for charges ranging from forgery to petty theft to grave desecration and she would be better off as a single parent.

The following May, Lisa gave birth to a baby boy with Dean's nose and chin. Dean was hunting a black dog at the time.

Almost nine years later, Dean had passed through town again, happening to land at Ben's eighth birthday party.

Lisa had quickly denied that Dean was Ben's father, remembering what the officer had told her about Dean. Sam had seen through her lie. Dean suspected she was lying, but didn't call her out on it.

He thought he didn't deserve Ben and Lisa.

There had been a case in town. Dean and Sam had saved Ben and Lisa's lives, and the lives of almost a dozen other children, but destroying the Mother Changeling.

Lisa had agreed to let him stay in touch, which he had sporadically.

The author did an amazing job of clarifying that Dean wasn't in love with Lisa as much as he was in love with the idea of settling down and having a home and family, and that broke Mary's heart.

The promise Sam extracted from Dean before jumping into Hell with Lucifer was not the generic promise described in Swan Song as Dean settling down and finding a good woman, but much more specific.

_"You go find Lisa. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take you in, and you – you have barbecues and go to football games. You go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me."_

Dean kept his promise, went to Indiana and moved in with Lisa and Ben, where he played house for a year until the past, and Sam, returned.

Dean spent almost a year torn between Lisa and Ben and hunting and Sam. He knew by then that Lisa had lied and that he was Ben's father, but didn't know how to confront her about it.

Until hunting almost killed Lisa and Ben, so Dean made the choice to give them up to keep them safe.

The book ended with Lisa dropping Ben off at baseball practice while Dean and Sam battle a Castiel who has declared himself God.

Mary closed her laptop and stared at the lid for a long time.

She couldn't imagine Dean's sacrifice.

She had a grandson out there somewhere.

Whether or not to check up on him wasn't even a question.

She had Ben and Lisa's names, Ben's age, Lisa's profession, and approximate dates they had lived in Indiana and Michigan, even if she didn't have cities and their last name.

Mary started searching for yoga instructors in Michigan, but didn't come up with any that matched what she knew about Lisa.

The more she thought about the implications of that, the more it worried her.

She ended up texting Cas again.

_Are Ben and Lisa safe?_

_As much as they can be. They have had several close calls with demons, a ghoul, and a banshee in the past few years while living in Michigan. Once they moved back to Indiana, their lives have been relativly quiet._

_There's a hell mouth in Wisconsin, right across the lake from Michigan!_ Mary snorted and rolled her eyes. _Why would Dean even take them there? Didn't they work enough cases in Wisconsin and Michigan to realize negative energy is attracted to the area?_

_I do not think Dean considered the matter thoroughly._

She thought of adding a sarcastic reply but she was quickly realizing that the intent behind her words would probably not be obvious to the angel.

However, he had given her an important clue - Lisa and Ben had moved back to Indiana.

There were probably fewer yoga instructors in Indiana.

Within half an hour, she had the name and address of Lisa's studio, had seen a picture of her online, and had found that Ben was a star baseball player.

John had played baseball as a kid. He had been good, but just not that interested in it. They had wanted Dean to play when he got big enough.

In another half an hour she had a cover for the trip to Indiana and had plotted out the route.

She knew where to find Lisa, but since it wasn’t baseball season, she was going to have to think about how she could meet Ben.

The problem solved itself when she walked into a coffee shop in Cicero and found herself face to face with a teenage version of John Winchester behind the counter.

She wasn’t sure if she had actually gasped aloud, but seeing her grandson for the first time was the biggest shock she had had since finding out her children were grown.

The boy was about Dean’s height and build and wore glasses. The glasses didn’t hide the fact that he had John’s nose, mouth, and chin. His eyes were shaped like Dean’s but hooded like John's, (and Dean’s, to a lesser extent) and obviously the color had come from his mother. He had dark hair like his mother, but the cowlick Dean had inherited from John had been passed down to his son as well.

"Can I help you?" he asked, and she could hear something of Dean's voice in it.

"Um, yeah." She forced herself to look up at the menu board "I'll have a medium vanilla latte, please."

He made her drink before ringing it up. She paid in cash, taking a seat midway between the door and the corner at a small table.

She opened up her laptop and logged into the free wifi, and then stared at the screen for several minutes.

"Can I get you anything else?" the question startled her, and she looked up to find the boy wiping down the table next to her.

She looked around and realized she was the only customer other than two girls about Ben's age on their phones in the corner.

"I'm fine for the moment." She smiled at the boy. "Just needed a place with some wifi. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Sure." Ben shrugged in a way that once again reminded her of Dean. "It's not busy tonight, so hang around as long as you want. If you need anything, let me know."

"Thanks." she told him.

She pulled up the travel website and scrolled through local motels. There was only one in Cicero proper, but a dozen or so in the nearby towns.

"Bye Ben! See you tomorrow!" The two girls left, waving, and Ben called back that he would see them later.

"Uh, ma'am?" Ben asked from behind the counter. "We've still got almost two hours to close and you're welcome to stay as long as you like. Do you mind if I work on some homework? If you need anything, just let me know."

"No, that's fine." Mary assured him. "But could I ask you something first?

"Sure," he shrugged, walking around the counter and coming closer. "What's up?"

"Are you from around here?" she asked.

"I was born here, and we lived around here all my life except for about a year my mom and I had moved to Michigan." He said. "Why do you ask?"

"I'm going to be in town for about a week or two, and I'm looking for a place to stay." Mary smiled. "I found this motel, the Little Chicago Inn, but the reviews are kind of questionable. Do you know anything about them?"

He made a face. "They might be all right tonight, with it being Wednesday, but this weekend, they'll be renting by the hour. If you're by yourself, I'd probably say to try the Super 8 in Noblesville. It's only about 7 miles straight down Highway 19. Or there are several chain hotels in Anderson, but that's a little farther away."

"Thank you." She smiled at him. "I appreciate it."

"Are you here for work?" he asked. "I'm not trying to be nosy, I just kind of guessed since you don't seem to know anyone around."

"It's fine." She said. "I'm a writer, and I'm here doing some research for a book."

"In Cicero?" he asked with a face that she had seen on John Winchester more times than she could count.

"Sit down." She invited, and he did. "I don't know if you'll remember this, because you would have been pretty young. Almost ten years ago, several people in town died under rather bizarre circumstances. Several families had told people ranging from friends and family to the family doctor to even the police in one case that their children were acting weird. The children later claimed to have been kidnapped and rescued by two strangers, but there is no proof of the kidnapping story other than the fact that the kids, when questioned separately, all told almost exactly the same story. I'm researching the story."

"I remember." He said carefully, and Mary was proud of him for not admitting that he had been one of those kids. "They came home and the supposed kidnapper died in a fire. It was a big deal for a week or so and then no one ever talked about it again. So why is someone from out of town interested in it?"

"Because I write true crime stories," she told him, shutting the laptop. "But I also investigate supernatural and paranormal occurrences. I'm not sure which one this will go under yet."

"Okay." he said, nodding, not quite making eye contact any more.

"And you think I'm a flake." She sighed, drinking her coffee.

"No," he shook his head, and for a long moment he didn't say anything else. "What kind of supernatural and paranormal things to you investigate?"

"In this case, there were rumors that whatever kidnapped those kids wasn't human, and the fire was set to cover the fact." She said, and watched carefully for his reaction.

He nodded slightly, so she continued.

"Under other circumstances, I've investigated various creatures that most people don't believe exist, such as vampires, werewolves, and demons."

"Do you believe in angels too?" he asked, looking up at her for the first time in several long moments.

"Yes," she said simply, nodding.

He seemed to think for several moments before he answered her. "I'm off work the day after tomorrow. Do you want to meet and talk after I get out of school?"

Likewise, she looked at him for a moment before responding. "Why do you want to talk to me?"

"I think you want to talk to me." He leaned forward, placing his hands on the table. "I was one of the kids who was kidnapped."

"You're right," she nodded. "I very much want to talk to you. But why would you want to talk to me?"

"I'm looking for answers." He said.

Someone walked in just then, and he excused himself to go back to the counter.

Mary stayed another half an hour, but Ben didn’t come back to her table and she didn’t push.

She left with a wave.

Once she saw the hotel Ben had suggested, she was pretty sure it was a better choice than the one she had originally considered.

She spent the next morning at the library, researching local history.

She also looked up what time the local high school got out, in order to guess what time Ben might come to work.

She dropped by the coffee shop about 4pm, and found them surprisingly busy between the soccer mom crowd and teens obviously there just for the wifi.

Ben was behind the counter again.

She ordered a hazelnut latte and a lemon bar, then once again sat down and opened her laptop.

As it had the day before, the crowd thinned around suppertime.

Ben came by the table when he wasn't busy.

"I didn't ask your name yesterday." he said.

"Mary." She held out her hand to shake his.

"Ben." He shook her hand, and then pointed to his nametag. "You probably already knew that."

"I had seen the nametag." Mary smiled. "So are we still on for tomorrow? Do you want to meet here?"

"Let's meet here about 3:30, and then we'll go somewhere else to talk." Ben suggested. "My aunt will be working tomorrow afternoon. She owns this place. If she hears me talking about this kind of stuff, she'll tell my mom, and I'll probably get dragged to a therapist again."

"Gotcha." She nodded. "By the way, thanks for the motel recommendation. I think that place is much nicer than the one I found online."

"No problem." He shrugged.

Three girls came in the door.

"Duty calls." he said with a salute as he walked back to the counter.

He flirted with the girls as easily as John had, or, as she had read in the books, Dean did.

Once again, Mary stayed a polite amount of time, and then waved as she packed up her laptop and headed back to the motel.

She played a couple online games with Dean that evening. The following morning, she again researched anything local she thought could be a case before going to the coffee shop to meet Ben.

He was waiting outside when she drove up, and got in the car with her, directing her to turn left out of the parking lot.

He directed her to a dirt road that led to a dead end at the river. She immediately recognized the location from Carver Edlund's description in the book.

It was a place where Dean used to go and talk to Sam during the year he thought Sam was in Hell.

"I don't know how I found this place, really, or why I like it here, but I do." Ben said.

"It's very peaceful." Mary noted, waiting for him to continue.

"Do you think monsters are real?" He asked, staring straight out the windshield.

"I think there are a lot of things out there humans don't understand, and therefore, try to make reasonable explanations for." She conceded. "A lot of times there really aren't any reasonable explanations."

"I wonder if weird shit, oops, sorry, weird _stuff_ , follows me." He looked at her as if to gauge her reaction.

"Language doesn't bother me." She shrugged. "My dad and my husband were both in the Marines. But I am interested in why you think weird shit follows you."

He sighed, and looked out the windshield again. "You know I was one of those kids caught up in the weirdness back in 2007. We were kidnapped. There was this real estate lady who was selling houses in the neighborhood where we used to live. She took me from my bedroom one night. She took a bunch of other kids too. She took us all to a house that was still under construction and locked us all in cages. Except that the real woman was in a cage over in the corner. Something, I don't know what, had taken her place. It would get different kids out of the cages and suck on the backs of their necks. When I got back home, I found out that she had replaced me with a monster version of me, and it had been sucking on the back of my mom's neck too."

"I believe you." Mary said gently, reaching over to pat his arm.

"That's not all." Ben said, shaking his head. "Later, my mom was apparently dating this guy. We moved to Michigan with him for a while. The thing is, all our friends and family met him, some of them had pictures of him, but my mom and I can't remember him at all."

"Not at all?" Mary asked.

"No." Ben shook his head. "I only know what he looks like because of the pictures other people have of him. Everyone said he was really mysterious. But if he lived with my mom and me for almost two years, why are we the only ones who don't remember him?"

"That's a good question." Mary told him. "Do you think he wasn't human?"

"I don't know." Ben shook his head again. "I can't get enough information about him to know what I think. And you probably think I'm some hysterical little bitch."

"No, I don't think that at all." She said.

He paused for a moment before continuing. "When we still lived in Michigan, some guy broke into our house. We knew the guy, and he was dead. We didn't know him well. He was the son of the people who lived down at the end of the street, and he had been killed in a car accident a couple months before, but here he was, breaking in to our house. There were guns in that house that we never bought. My mom grabbed one and shot the guy in the chest, and it didn't even slow him down." He made a face, but still didn't meet Mary's eyes. "My equipment bag was laying there, so I grabbed a baseball bat and hit the guy in the head as hard as I could. He went down then. I killed him. But then it gets really weird, the police thought he was on drugs or something, so they ordered an autopsy. It turns out the guy's brain was almost non-existent, and his internal organs were all screwed up. It wasn't the dead guy, because the dead guy should have had all kinds of injuries from the wreck, and this guy didn't have them. The police couldn't explain it."

"What do you think he was?" Mary asked.

"A zombie, I guess." Ben shrugged. "It wasn't the same thing as the monster when I was 8."

"If it looked like someone recently deceased, and was killed by head trauma, it was probably a ghoul." Mary said.

Ben nodded, and didn't say anything for a moment.

“Who did you lose?” he finally asked.

“I’m sorry?” she blinked, momentarily taken aback by the question.

He shrugged. “I might be wrong, but I’m figuring your being out here searching for the truth behind some kind of obscure events that happened almost ten years ago is because you’re either looking for clues to resolve what happened to you, or because it’s your way of dealing with losing someone who meant something to you.”

He looked over at her to gauge her reaction, and the look on his face couldn’t have been any more Dean Winchester if her son had been sitting in that seat.

“You’re right.” She smiled sadly and nodded. “I lost my husband and two sons in a house fire that was started by a demon. It’s not so much dealing, as it is trying to figure out how to pick up the pieces and go forward.”

“So you’re hunting a demon?” Ben asked.

“No.” she shook her head. “That particular demon is dead. Someone else got him. But there are plenty more out there.”

“So there are people who hunt demons?” he said thoughtfully. “And other monsters?”

“Yes.” She told him. “They call themselves hunters.”

“Do they all drive old black cars?” He asked.

Mary couldn’t stop her surprised reaction at that one. “What?”

He nodded, as if he had gotten the confirmation he expected. “I don't remember how I got home, after the kidnapping. The neighbors said two men brought me home in a big black 1960s Chevy muscle car. Dean, my mom’s boyfriend that I don’t remember? Drove a pickup truck but he also owned a big black Chevy muscle car that mostly stayed hidden. If he was a monster hunter, maybe that would explain why we don’t remember him. Maybe he used some kind of magic or something on us. And my aunt said he left with another guy who drove another black hot rod car, but it was a newer one. I've seen a black 60s Chevy like that since then. Four or five years ago, I saw it a lot, maybe like once or twice a month, but the past few years I only see it maybe a couple times a year. The man who drives it, he looks like he’s watching me, but not in a creepy way, just like he’s making sure I’m okay or something. The thing is, there's only one man in the car so it’s not the guys who brought me home after the kidnapping. I used to think he was my guardian angel, maybe my dad watching over me or something, but if my dad was a monster hunter, maybe he’s someone who knew my dad. My mom said my dad had an old black car. And you’re driving a black car."

"You didn't know your dad?" She asked gently.

Ben shook his head. "He and my mom split before she knew she was pregnant with me and she couldn’t find him. But this guy in the car, he looks like my mom's type. She told me before that she used to have a thing for the bad boy types. He just looks dangerous. He's got long hair and he's huge, like six and a half feet tall."

Mary blinked, momentarily surprised to realize the man Ben was describing as his guardian angel was his uncle rather than his father.

“I think it’s possible that he is someone who knew your dad.” She agreed. “Maybe someone who knew Dean.”

He just nodded, seeming to digest that information.

“Tell me what else you remember about the kidnapping.” She prodded.

There wasn’t much else he could remember. Two men had come in to rescue them, but Ben couldn’t remember anything about them. After the ghoul incident, his mother had taken him to a therapist who attributed the partial amnesia about the kidnapping to his mind blocking out the trauma of the event.

He hinted around that he may have had interactions with other supernatural creatures, but changed the subject when she tried to ask him about it.

They talked for more than two hours.

Ben’s phone buzzed, and when he checked the message, he said it was from his mom and he should be getting home.

“Do you want me to take you home, or back to the coffee shop?” Mary asked.

“Just drop me off at the coffee shop.” He said. “I only live a few blocks from there. If my mom sees me come home in a strange car it’ll stir up a bunch of shit.”

As she drove them back to the coffee shop, Ben typed something in on his phone and then looked at her.

“Do you mind if I get your email or number or something, to keep in touch?” he asked.

She smiled at him. “I had hoped you would ask.” She told him her phone number and her email address. “You can text me or email any time. If you call and I don’t answer, just leave me a message and I’ll call back as soon as I can.”

When she stopped the car in the parking lot, he gave her his email and number as well, and thanked her before getting out of the car and walking down the street.

Before driving away, she pulled out her phone and texted Castiel.

_About 4 or 5 years ago, was Dean dead or something?_

He answered by the time she started the ignition.

_He was trapped in Purgatory for almost a year. Why do you ask?_

She shook her head, not even surprised, and put the phone in her purse before putting the car into gear.

Her phone dinged again about halfway there, but she waited until she was in her room before checking the message.

It wasn’t from Castiel. It was from Sam.

_Does the Super 8 still have blue wallpaper in the bathrooms?_

She sat down on the bed and typed her reply.

_You would know. Are you in town?_

_No._ He responded. _I check the credit card every few days to make sure you’re alright._

Well that explained why Sam never texted or called to check on her. That, and the fact that Dean probably told Sam every time he talked to her.

 _I’m fine._ She told him. _Ben is so much like John._

 _YOU ACTUALLY MADE CONTACT WITH HIM?!_ Sam replied, and Mary figured the all capital letters was probably the equivalent of being scolded.

 _Not intentionally_. She said. _I accidentally met him and we spoke a little._

 _You know that Dean went to a lot of trouble to keep him safe. Don’t screw it up._ Sam warned.

 _At least I went in with a cover story._ Mary shot back. _You need to be more careful. He’s spotted you and the car._

 _How did you even find out about him? Cas?_ Sam asked.

 _The Supernatural Books._ She texted.

 _Ben isn’t mentioned in the books._ Sam pointed out.

 _Not in the original series._ Mary agreed. _But there is a book just about Ben._

Sam took a little longer than usual to reply. _Please tell me you’re joking._

 _There were 24 published books._ Mary said. _Then there was a second set of 24 that weren’t published but are available on your ex-wife’s website._

_Then there is one secret book, that Becky was told to never show anyone unless someone with my name came along._

_Please don’t call her that._ Sam replied.

 _Sorry._ Mary said. _But Becky assured me that she had never shown anyone but me the secret book. She understands that Ben’s life is at stake._

 _Ok_. He responded.

Several minutes passed, and then he texted again. _Does Becky know who you are?_

_No. Or at least I didn’t tell her. She said something about me being a hunter and I agreed with her._

He was silent again for a moment before asking _She’s not trying to find me, is she?_

 _She didn’t say anything like that._ His mother told him. _She asked if I had actually met you, and invited me to come back and talk further with her, but she never mentioned trying to make contact._

 _Ok._ Sam answered.

She waited to see if he would say anything else, but he didn’t, so after half an hour, she put her phone in her purse and walked to Denny’s across the street to get dinner.

As she waited for her order, she thought about the things she had read about her younger son, Bobby calling him "a deep little son of a bitch" and Carver Edlund’s descriptions of how Sam had internalized his emotions over and over.

She couldn’t let it go, so she texted him.

_I’m sorry if you feel like I invaded your privacy by reading those books and talking to Becky. I’ve been struggling to understand not only who I am now, but who you and Dean have become._

_Reading those books filled in a lot of blanks, telling me things that you would have probably found very painful to talk about in person. I’d still like to hear your perspective on things, since the books are written in the third person._

_And since you’ve apparently read the books, you know what’s not mentioned in them. If there is any of that you feel comfortable in talking about, I would love to hear it._

She had finished eating and gone back to her room by the time he answered.

_I understand why you did it. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it._

She accepted the message for the olive branch that it was.

 _Dean will call you soon._ He added. _I didn’t tell him where you are. He thinks I’m mad at him about something because he can tell I’m not telling him something._

 _I’m sorry._ She replied. _I didn’t mean to cause trouble between the two of you._

 _It’s fine. This is nothing compared to some of the disagreements we’ve had over the years._ Sam said.

Her phone rang before she could answer him, and of course it was Dean.

She assured Dean she was fine, no, she wasn’t upset about Christmas, she wasn’t really on a case, she was just doing some research on some old cases, refreshing her knowledge of the lore.

He didn’t mention Sam, other than to tell her Sam said hello, and she didn’t prod.

Her phone dinged while she was talking to Dean, but she didn’t know how to look at the message without hanging up on him.

She and Dean said good night, and she flipped over to check her messages, expecting it to be from Sam.

It was from Castiel.

_Are you all right?_

_As much as I can be._ She replied. _The books were difficult to read, when you know they’re true and happened to people you care about._

 _Yes, but I thought it might help you to gain better understanding of your sons._ He said.

_It did, and I thank you for that._

As she pressed the button to send the message, the voice mail icon caught her eye.

 _Did Dean ever find out that Ruby changed the voice mail right before Sam killed Lilith?_ She asked.

 _What voice mail?_ Castiel replied.

_Did Dean ever read the Supernatural Books?_

_He read parts of three books._ Cas replied. _He said he didn’t need to read them all because he had lived them. I believe Sam has read them all._

She laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and thought about the books again, about the men she had read about, before she had been sidetracked by the quest to find her grandson.

She never wanted her boys to become hunters. She had always hoped they would have long, safe, boring lives in suburbia.

It had never been God’s plan. Or destiny’s plan, or whoever’s plan.

Her boys were always meant to be heroes, and they had saved the world several times over.

She still missed the two little boys she had tucked into bed on November 2, 1983, but she loved the men they had become.

She unlocked her phone and texted Sam.

_Do you mind if I come visit?_

_Of course not._ He answered. _When?_

 _In a few days._ _I’ll text you when I’m on the way._

  
The phone dinged again the second she pressed send.

The new text was from Ben.

_I’m going to be 18 in May and I graduate in June. I want to learn to hunt monsters._

She sighed, because she knew this way going to happen from the moment he asked about the car. She hoped that she would be able to talk him out of it before he turned 18.

_Ben, it’s not The Walking Dead. There are things out there that will kill you if you cross their path. Good hunters, hunters with years of experience die on jobs frequently._

_I figure if stuff is going to come looking for me, I might as well be ready to take it on. I need to be able to protect my mom and whoever else might be around._

His answer was so John Winchester it made her heart clench. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

He texted again before she could think of a good answer.

_If you don’t want to teach me, ask the guy in the black car if he will. Because the more I think about it, the more certain I am that you know exactly who he is._

She sighed. _I do._

 _Is it my dad?_ He asked.

 _No. But someone close to him. Watching over you for your dad._ She said. _You were right about that._

_I knew you recognized me when you walked into the coffee shop._

_I had never seen you before._ She said honestly. _But there is a family resemblance._

 _I mean it._ He said. _I want to learn about killing monsters._

_We’ll talk more about this before I leave town. I’m serious. It’s not what you think it will be._

Her phone made a noise she had never heard before, and when she looked at it, she had apparently gotten three text messages at once.

Dean said _Cas asked me if I had talked to you. Is everything all right?_

Sam said _I’m sorry you had to find out some of those things the way you did, but part of me is relieved that you know. We’ll talk when you get here._

Ben said _I’ll be there in half an hour. I told my mom I’m going off with a friend._

She didn’t know which one to answer first.


End file.
